Bad Habits and Leadership, Not Listening
In the previous article “Bad Habits and Leadership, Speak When Angry” I’ve commented to you that I picked up 3 out of the 20 “bad habits” identified in the book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
2.Not Listening
Just like “Speak When Angry” is a terrible habit, “Not listening” is certainly one of the worst. The thing is that not listening gets you away from others’ ideas, impressions, feelings, and in the end from their hearts. I think this is the most extended bad habit that exists. Why is that? Because listening requires attention, requires commitment, and respect. Another reason is that in conflictual situations, is really hard to listen at all. Instead of that, when the other person is talking, we’re planning our response, so we’re not listening. What does this mean? Misunderstandings.
We’re so immerse in our problems and needs that we forget that our colleagues, friends, and family need attention too. If we don’t listen others How can we understand their needs? If we don’t listen to others How can we be of any help for them? How can they trust us? How can we become leaders? If they don’t trust, we won’t be leaders.
My remedy for Not Listening: Practice Active listening. There are countless references on how to do this but essentially I strive for the next two:
1. I try to make sure that the other person feels ok, comfortable. Nodding while their talking to let them know I’m receiving their message.
2. I try to focus on what the other person is saying. I keep every other thought out of my mind.
By the way, before starting a conversation always ask how long the other person thinks it’s going to take, or if you have a time constraint let them know before starting the conversation. If the time is not enough inmediatly schedule an appointment to talk with the other person in the future.
When you listen to others you really connect with them, at least you make them know in those very unique moments they are telling you something, you cared. That’s a lasting impression and helps to create bonds.
LEADERSHIP ACTIONS
Next time you want to talk to someone, or someone wants to talk to you. Do this:
Do we have enough time for talking? If not, schedule an appointment.
If you’re in a conversation, listen to what the other person is saying to you. Focus on the message and give them non verbal clues that you’re hearing. Before replying take a pause. Keep eye to eye contact, but don’t over do it, some persons feel intimidated by too much eye to eye contact.
In the next 3-minute-leadership in this series about “bad habits” tip I’m going to write about the last one “bad habit” I’ve picked up for you.
And as a bonus, you can check for yourself the list of the bad habits identified by Goldsmith and Reiter and look for the ones you would like to pick up and work on.
Remember: Be Alert, Be A Leader. 
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1 comment
I find myself in many of the situations described in these articles,to the point that it seems directed at me.
Bad habits are in evidence in most situations with Leadership,and clearly it comes down to the individual, whose
perception is that he/she is in charge,and that gives carte blanche when engaging with subordinates,most times without due consideration for any arrogant behaviour,or the effect it has on the reciepient of such behavior.
With younger folks moving rapidly up the corporate scale,it is evident that experience is not the criteria in appointents but pure aggresion merged with smart savvy.It’s a different world out there,values,respect,common decency,patience,strength of character,are all but forgotten.
It is my humble opinion that we are at a crossroad as humans,where globalization has not realized its negative impact on the world,in particular it’s people,the majority of which continue to be worse off,and the selected few benefit.
Leadership attitudes need to change,in responding to our fellow human needs in any environment.