Bad Habits and Leadership, Punishing the Messenger
In the previous articles “Bad Habits and Leadership, Speak When Angry” and “Bad Habits and Leadership, Not Listening” I’ve commented to you that I have picked up 3 out of the 20 “bad habits” identified in the book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Just like talking while angry or not listening, punishing the messenger is one of the worst habits of all.
This habit goes like this: someone tells you something about your behavior, or anything that you don’t like to hear, and you “punish” him/her replying with words like “I already know that, you idiot” or may be you go like “What?! Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I don’t know how to …?” You can fill in the blanks with whatever you want. What you really do it’s getting angry and yelling at the guy who gave you the “news”.
How many times have you been in that situation? Do you think a true leader could do that? I don’t think so. In my humble opinion, anyone who can’t not bear a commentary or replies without thinking about it, has a really long road to become a leader.
Most of the time, the information that the “messenger” has brought in is of real value, and it is intended to help us, and how do we pay them back? Yelling at them, being disrespectful, making them feel terrible about it. You can bet that you won’t receive any more messages from that person after that sort of behavior. You will have cut a communication route and a possibility to strengthen the bonds with the people you work with.
The REMEDY: According to Goldsmith and Reiter, there’s a simple remedy to this terrible habit. When someone brings in bad news or points you some mistakes you’ve made, just say thank you. Just like that, Thank you. And then be cautious and figure out if you need to consider or not what you’ve been told. But, don’t punish the messenger. Remember, he/she can be the best intentioned people in the world, and it’s only pointing you something he/she thinks you should know. Don’t let the bad emotions take control of your actions.
LEADERSHIP ACTIONS
Next time you someone points you a mistake, or tells you something you’d prefer not to hear, just say thank you. I’ll say that again: JUST SAY THANK YOU. Hold on before replying. THINK, THINK before replying.
Remember Be Alert, Be A Leader 
Latest News About Leadership
Sun, 05 Feb 2012 11:08:43 -0800
Tony Abbott is preparing for a ?leadership showdown?? Is someone challenging him for leadership of the Liberal Party? Or is he switching to the ALP and challenging Gillard for leadership of the ALP?
Windsor warns Labor over leadership talk
Sun, 05 Feb 2012 16:12:10 -0800
Cross-benchers and the Greens say Labor risks government if leadership speculation continues.
Swan Backs Gillard Over Possible Australian Leadership Challenge
Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:58:28 -0800
Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard has the backing of her Labor Party caucus, according to Treasurer Wayne Swan, amid speculation that Foreign Minister Kevin Rudd is considering a leadership challenge.
Leadership on agenda
Sun, 05 Feb 2012 02:53:05 -0800
JULIA Gillard will try to quell bubbling discontent about Labor leadership at today's caucus brainstorming session.
Forbes Leadership Highlights of the Week: Set for Super Sunday
Sun, 05 Feb 2012 05:47:46 -0800
With the biggest sports event of the year upon us this week, Karl Moore drew leadership inspiration from both Tom Brady and Eli Manning with "Know Your Teammates: Leadership Lessons from the Super Bowl Quarterbacks." Lisa Arthurlooked beyond both those stars with her "Super Bowl MVP Prediction: No, Not Brady or Manning. It's Social Media." Dov Seidman let us know who?also neither Brady nor ...
1 comment
To be honist i am totally agree with your points as i am studying leadership development in ILD (Institute of Leadership Development)which is running by Morning Star (US), locate in Herat province…… so it is my expectation to put some free E-books as well, because for us being afghan it is very hard to afford the price of such boos and even sometimes it is hard to have the access to internet as well…………….
Thank you very much and if you have anything to say plz mail me to the above said mail address.
Esteem….
Leave a Comment