Bad Habits and Leadership, Punishing the Messenger

In the previous articles “Bad Habits and Leadership, Speak When Angry” and “Bad Habits and Leadership, Not Listening” I’ve commented to you that I have picked up 3 out of the 20 “bad habits” identified in the book  What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter. Those bad habits are the ones that stop you in your way to the top of any organization.  My third pick is: Punishing the Messenger.

Just like talking while angry or not listening, punishing the messenger is one of the worst habits of all.

This habit goes like this: someone tells you something about your behavior, or anything that you don’t like to hear, and you “punish” him/her replying with words like “I already know that, you idiot” or may be you go like “What?! Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I don’t know how to …?” You can fill in the blanks with whatever you want. What you really do it’s getting angry and yelling at the guy who gave you the “news”.

How many times have you been in that situation? Do you think a true leader could do that? I don’t think so. In my humble opinion, anyone who can’t not bear a commentary or replies without thinking about it, has a really long road to become a leader.

Most of the time, the information that the “messenger” has brought in is of real value, and it is intended to help us, and how do we pay them back? Yelling at them, being disrespectful, making them feel terrible about it. You can bet that you won’t receive any more messages from that person after that sort of behavior. You will have cut a communication route and a possibility to strengthen the bonds with the people you work with.

The REMEDY:  According to Goldsmith and Reiter, there’s a simple remedy to this terrible habit. When someone brings in bad news or points you some mistakes you’ve made, just say thank you. Just like that, Thank you. And then be cautious and figure out if you need to consider or not what you’ve been told. But, don’t punish the messenger. Remember, he/she can be the best intentioned people in the world, and it’s only pointing you something he/she thinks you should know. Don’t let the bad emotions take control of your actions.

LEADERSHIP ACTIONS

Next time you someone points you a mistake, or tells you something you’d prefer not to hear, just say thank you. I’ll say that again: JUST SAY THANK YOU. Hold on before replying.  THINK, THINK before replying. 

Remember Be Alert, Be A Leader